According to Gretchen Rubin’s quiz around the four tendencies in habit-forming, my dominant tendency is Obliger. This means I am more likely to keep my commitments to others than I am to myself. This statement resonates deeply within me and basically describes the type of person I have been for the past number of years.
According to the quiz, the reason why I find it so hard to do things for myself is –
“Obligers may find it difficult to form a habit, because often we undertake habits for our own benefit, and Obligers do things more easily for others than for themselves.”
I have always put others before myself, even in times where I put myself at risk of being in debt, getting in trouble and starting arguments. Although this has somewhat changed recently, where I have started doing the things I want to do, because I want to do them for me. In an earlier post I mentioned that I had quit smoking, and as of last Friday I have been smoke free for six weeks. I’ve also started my One Photo a Day challenge and I’m doing my very best to stick with it in order to improve my photography skills, even though it is only day 3.
Like happiness, people must learn that in order to do things for themselves they must be doing these things for themselves. I didn’t quit smoking so that my Mother would get off my back, I quit because it was of significant benefit to my health. I didn’t start my challenge to please my lecturers or create good projects, I started it to improve my ability in capturing life’s finer moments. Even with college, I want my education so I can provide for me and my partner later in life and to give me a career that I will love, not because it is the social norm to attend college and earn a degree. Once you start doing things for you, your self-worth will immediately benefit.
Learn to love yourself once in a while and always strive to make yourself the best possible version of you. After all, only you can ever be the best at being you.